so baby, hold me like you don't wanna let go; xo_wildflower's Journal

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[21 Aug 2006|11:12am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

i'd like to thank you for making me feel like i'm a piece of ass.
and also for letting the whole store know about what happened between the two of us that night.
or at least what you would have liked to have happen.
thanks for letting it go on, i really appreciate it.
and i'd also like to thank you for not telling everyone to shut up.
that was really nice of you. 
oh, and i'm glad you're "not mad at me".
that just solves the entire fucking problem, doesn't it?
shouldn't you be asking me that question?
considering i'm the one everyone looks at like a little slut
and you're in the back gettin props for bein such a pimp?
you dont need this shit at your work?
well neither do i, but i'm not the one who insisted on causing it.



[29 Jun 2006|10:02pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

some people should just fucking grow up.

josh is leaving for his trip tomorrow. so i've gotta be deprived of his sexcii ass for the next 10 days. ima miss u baby <3**
i started my job today, tomorrow is my first kind of sort of shift n i get paid friggen $8.30/hour =) fukkin sick shitt ;)
saturday = chyllz with ivaa n nikita n sabbs =) sexcii stuff x o x 
cris = the greatest.  i cant believe u stuck up for me without me even knowing.. lol. ur an awesome friend =)
tomorrow = work 8-4 * fuuuuuun. aha


[26 Jun 2006|03:46pm]
[ mood | not feelin well * =( ]

Best Friends.
what does that mean to you?
Obviously not much.
I never knew someone could have so many fucking faces.
Fuck you.
Fuck your bullshit.
I'm glad you're going away.
Stay the hell away from me from now on.
Fuck all the "good times".
And the "remember when's"
Cause, hunnie there's no fukkin way we'll ever be best friends again.
Learn to be honest.
Work on growing up.
Stop changing your stories around.
Cut the fukkin shit out.
When he's dropped it, you know you're taking it too far.
Just own up to your shit.
You're pissing me off.
Fuck it.
You bore me. 

"Kbye x3"


[25 Jun 2006|01:32pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

asshole. =)


[24 Jun 2006|11:59pm]
my last entry was pointless.

[24 Jun 2006|11:31pm]
[ mood | stressed ]

The Cans.
Can you blow a bubble?: yeppers
Can you dance?: says josh =p
Can you do a cartwheel: lol nope =(
Can you roll your tongue?: naw
Can you touch your toes?: yepp
Can you whistle?: nope
Can you wiggle your ears?: nope

The Dids.

Did you ever get in a fight at school?: verbal fights, yes.
Did you ever eat a pie: not a full one myself.
Did you ever run away from home?: no
Did you ever want to be a doctor?: yea
Did you ever want to be a firefighter?: nope
Did you have a party for your last birthday?: yeaa i got smashed lol

The Dos.

Do you believe in God?: kinda, yeah
Do you know how to drive?: not yet
Do you like roller coasters?: yeaa
Do you own a bike?: nope
Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality TV shows?: i doubt it

The Does.

Does hair loss run in your family?: i don't think so
Does your car get good gas mileage?: i dont have a car
Does your family have family picnics?: no, lol

The Haves.

Has anyone ever given you flowers?: yes
Have you ever been on a plane?: yes
Have you ever been to the ocean?:nope
Have you ever gone fishing?: once
Have you ever painted your nails?: yuup

The Whats.

What color is your underwear? white with red kisses
What did you wear to bed last night?: ivaas pj pants n tank top
What was the last book you read?: i cant remember
What was the last thing you bought?: candy <3
What was the last thing you had to drink?: water
What was the last TV show you watched?: my dad has ultimate fighter on

The Whos.

Who have you known the longest? sammie
Who was that last person you messaged?: ivaa
Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?: Nikita

List 20 people off the top of your head. DON'T read the questions first.:

1. josh
3. nikita
4. jessica
20.sammiee <3

[20 Jun 2006|06:32pm]
[ mood | <33* ]

He said it! He said it!! <33*


[08 Jun 2006|05:58pm]
[ mood | teehee ]

Sabbs and I made up. I'm pretty damn happy =)
sam and I are skilled bed makers. 
olivia + shawna + cally = hott fukkin play.
sams house + pictures = fuckin sexciii.

i had a pretty hott day =)


[07 Jun 2006|09:57pm]
[ mood | fucking fed up ]

Clearly best friends means nothing to you.
I truly hope you're happy with yourself.
If you do this to our friends, then what will you do to me?
How can I trust someone like you?
You're a selfish, arrogant, conceited, immature little bitch.
I don't know how you can look yourself in the mirror and smile.
You're pathetic.


[04 Jun 2006|12:07am]
[ mood | i love joshh <3* ]

tonightt was clearly one of the best nights ever. =)

I love nikita more than fucking life. <3**


[27 May 2006|06:30pm]
[ mood | excited ]

i got my belly button pierced, but i'm really self-conscious about how it'll look on monday.  i'm not sure if i think it looks nice.  
right now, it kind of hurts. =(
but, i am excited as fuck. =)


[26 May 2006|07:24pm]
[ mood | talking to josh! <3 ]

You make me smile. =) <3
I love your sexcii brown eyes.
And your cute little smile. =p
You brighten my day.
I love the way you hold me.
And tickle me.
And I love that cute little face you make when you lie.
Being in your arms is probably the best feeling in the world. 

<3 **


[19 May 2006|07:07pm]
[ mood | lalalovee ** ]

I've pretty much fallen head over heels, and it's not as scary as it used to be.  I'm starting to feel something I've never felt before and it's a really amazing feeling.

This past week has been hard, but thinking of all the good things has gotten me through it.  Thank you to everyone who was there for me.  I really appreciate itt <33*  

Basicaly, with all the bad stuff that's been going on, I wanna sayy some happy shitt =p 


I seriously do not  know what the fuck i would do without you.  I can't believe we went so long without talking because you have helped me through so much in just this past week, it's un-fucking-believeable. I love you more than I can even put into words. <3  Thank youu for always being there. =)


Omgg, hunniee. I honestly cannot believe how much you fucking mean to me. I would seriously do anything for you. I'm so glad we got so close becausee I  honestly don't know what I would do if you weren't in my life.  You're the perfect friend; you're always there for me, and you never judge me.  I love you to little tiny bits + pieces! <33


Ohh man, hunniee. i never in a million years thought we would ever be as close as we are now.  I'm so thankful that we became friends because you're such an amazing person; probably one of the most amazing i know.  you're strong willed, you're a sweetheart, you're an amazing fucking friend, and you're such a sweetheart. I don't know how I could possibly function without having you around.  I love you soo much <33


Ohh, jeshieecaa.  How do i love thee; let me count the ways.  I'd probably need an extremely large abacus =p  I'm soo glad we had foods together becausee if you and ivana hadn't taken that class we never would have gotten this close.  I fucking love youu bayybee! i dunno what the hell i'd do without you as one of my friends because clearly we don't know how to hate on each other lol :p  i cab't put into words how much you mean to me, and i will alwaysalwaysalways cherish our friendship because after almost losing itt over something so little and stupid, i know how important having you around is.  i fucking love you my dear. <3


Ohh wow.  I don't even know where to begin with you! haha, i love you.  you're like, my devils advocate.  I think you're the prettiest thing. I love how you stand your ground no matter what. i seriouslyy wish that i could be half as strong as you are.  I love youu <33

..aaand that's my entryy for todayy. ima go take a shower. x o **


[05 May 2006|06:53pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Name: Steffiee * / Steff * / Steffaniee *
Birthdate: 04.23
Birthplace: newmarket.
Current Location: my basement.
Eye Color: blue.
Hair Color: brown w/ blonde highlights *
Height: 5'2.
Weight: pfft, yea right. lol
Piercings: 2; one in each ear.
Tatoos: none.
Boyfriend/Girlfriend: boyfriend. <3
Overused Phraze: Aww.  (just ask Sabrina.. lol)
Food: Strawberries + Fresh Watermelon. =)
Candy: skittles.
Number: 18.
Color: green + pink
Animal: i basically love all animals.
Drink: water.
Alcohol Drink: Woodys /Vex /Sex on the Beach /Smirnoff
Bagel: Sesame.
Letter: S
Body Part on Opposite sex: Definitely eyes.
This or That
Pepsi or Coke: neither.
McDonalds or BurgerKing: why not just ask if i want a heart attack? lol
Strawberry or Watermelon: both!! =)
Hot tea or Ice tea: hott.
Chocolate or Vanilla vanilla.
Hot Chocolate or Coffee: coffee.
Kiss or Hug: Kiss! <333
Dog or Cat: couldn't choose. i love them both.
Rap or Punk: Rap.
Summer or Winter: Summer!
Scary Movies or Funny Movies: scary movies because i can cuddle, but funny ones because i love to laugh =)
Love or Money: definitely love.
Bedtime: whenever i fall asleep.
Most Missed Memory: how close i used to be with megan.
Best phyiscal feature: eyes.
First Thought Waking Up: what time is it?
Goal for this year: tone up =)
Best Friends: Ivana + Jess + Nikitaa <3
Weakness: love.
Fears: losing the ones i lovee, death, fire, clowns! (darren knows what i'm talkin about lol)
Heritage: Canadian /Hungarian
Longest relationship: 3 months.
Ever Smoked: nope.
Pot: yuup.
Ever been Drunk: yeaa.
Ever been beaten up: nopee.
Ever beaten someone up: nope.
Ever Shoplifted: Nope.
Ever Skinny Dipped: lol, no.
Ever Kissed Opposite sex: yeeesh.
Been Dumped Lately: nope.
Favorite Eye Color: it doesn't particularly matter.. but i love blue + brown.
Favorite Hair Color: doesn't matter, but i'm prone to darker. =)
Short or Long: it really depends on the guy, but i'd prefer it more on the short side.
Height: tall =)
Style: i'm more into the whole "gangstaa"/ thug look.
Looks or Personality: honest, sweet, respectful, good to talk to, funny, loyal- looks matter to a point if you're going to talk about attraction, but overall it's what's mental that counts. you can't have a relationship with a dick or a pretty face. there's nothing there if you can't talk to the person.
Hot or Cute um, i dunno. lol cute?
Drugs and Alcohol: i'd prefer if he wasn't fucking himself up and getting stoned all the time, because that stuff messes with your brain if you do it everyday. but i don't care if he does it occassionally.
Muscular or Really Skinny: i don't like when a guy is skin and bones, but the muscular part isn't really necessary.
Number of Regrets in the Past: i've had quite a few major ones, but i don't keep track.
What country do you want to Visit: England, Mexico, Hawaii, Italy, Spain...
How do you want to Die: Painlessly- in my sleep, preferably.
Been to the Mall Lately: Yeaa.
Do you like Thunderstorms: if i know i'm safe!
Get along with your Parents: for the mosrt part, yea.
Health Freak: yup.
Do you think your Attractive: nah, not really. lol
Believe in Yourself: mehh..
Want to go to College: i'm not sure.
Do you Smoke: naw.
Do you Drink: sometimes.
Shower Daily: obviously.
Been in Love: i'm not sure.
Do you Sing: when no one is around.
Want to get Married: eventually.
Do you want Children: undecided.
Have your future kids names planned out: umm, i'm thinking if i have a girl i might wanna name her Chloe or Lydia. Myabe Alice.  and if i have a boy i'm thinking maybe.. Dylan or Brandon.
Hate anyone: hate is really too strong of a word to use and actually mean, for me personally.


[14 Apr 2006|04:36pm]
[ mood | sleepy ]

why is it that whenever i feel like i've already heard everything, something else comes up?

i haven't updated this thing in a little while and i guess a lot has happened since then so i'm choosing to do it now because there's nothing else really all that important i could be doing. 

**josh asked me out, which basically made me the happiest i've been in a while.  i'm really glad that we got so close and everything because i really think everything is starting to fall back into place.  maybe?

as far as school goes, i think that sam and i should seriously take up a career in pissing people off.  we do it better than anyone i know lol.   our health teacher pretty much hates us, and we're basically screwed for this entire course, because there is no chance in hell of us passing with even a 50%.  i failed my evaluation because mrs. poste claimed i didnt practice enough.  which may have been understandable if she would have given me time to practice.  my parents are definitely not finding out about that. and there is seriously no way they're going to the parent/teacher interview.  i'd be crucified.  i'm not going on the field trip to the hospital, because i'm pretty sure she doesn't want me there, and i'm still debating whether or not to do the paramedic thing.  i have a feeling that if i go, she'll just kick me out because that class is like a fucking tranquilizer gun. it puts me to sleep.

my other classes are actually going pretty well, which is good because it makes up for my lack of health care intelligence that i demonstrate during my 2nd period class with mrs poste lol. i think that for mid-term, i'll be at around maybe an 80% for history, a 70% for science and maybe in the high 80s for drama. 

i'm really excited for our play next week, and i seriously cant wait to just get it all done because i'm excited for one act plays.  i can't focus my excitement on one thing at a time, i swear.

this week has been pretty hott, actually. i've been talking to sam more than usual, which is awesome, and the other night we started talking about all the time we spent together in the summer and all the crazy shit we did lol.  like jumping into my pool half drunk lol, and me singing on the floor when i got stoned that one time.  it just kinda got me thinking about all the funn stuff that used to happen.  that was probably one of the greatest summers ever, haha. sam and i saw each other like almost everyday lol.  i miss all that crazy shitt.  i love our memories! we have soo many of them.  like the time sam looked for a boating licsence & then realized she didnt have a boat lmao.  just little things like that that make me smile all the time =)  Aw, i love my sam <3

soo i guess that's a long enough entry.  i've just been doing a lot of, reflecting? this week.     i'm outt- i'm gonna go run for a lil bit and then take a shower. x o *


[01 Apr 2006|10:20pm]
[ mood | bored ]

i like you.
you're cute.
i want you for my birthdayy.
but i don't think it will happen. 

the end.


[12 Mar 2006|01:21pm]
[ mood | bored ]

---> Favorite Color: green, pink
---> Favorite Food: strawberries, fresh watermelon <33*
---> Favorite Band: bon jovi/aerosmith
---> Favorite Movie: i have soo many; dirty dancing, the nightmare before christmas, the corpse bride, the notebook, american beauty, etc..
---> Favorite Sport: hockey, pretty much anything in the winter olympics
---> Favorite Season: summer & autumn
---> Favorite Day Of the Week: saturday
---> Favorite Ice Cream: french vanilla
---> Favorite Car: i'm not too familliar with cars.. but i think the new pontiac solstice is sexxie as hell. ;)
---> Favorite Number: 18

¤9 Currents...
---> Current Mood: bored
---> Current Taste: coffee
---> Current Computer: HP somethingorother
---> Current Finger/toe nail color: pink
---> Current Time: 1:58pm
---> Current Surroundings: the bar in my basement.. i'm a lonely gosling =( haha
---> Current Annoyance(s): none at the moment.
---> Current Crush(es): hmm, i wonder.. lmao
---> Current song: Control Myself- LL Cool J & Jennifer Lopez

¤8 Firsts...
---> First Best Friend: Kelsey.
---> First Screen Name: i can't remember.
---> First Pet: Tigz, my old cat.
---> First Piercing: ears.
---> First Crush: Timothy.. lmao
---> First Music: Aqua
---> First Car: that little fisher price one you pedal with your feet and it has the little beepie horn thing!

¤7 Lasts...
---> Last music: Dirty diana- Michael Jackson
---> Last Drink: coffee
---> Last Car Ride: coming home from the mall with sam <3* (who i love very dearly!!)
---> Last Kiss: steve..
---> Last Phone call: sam!
---> Last CD Played: my burned one with all my songs from dirty dancing!

¤6 Have You...
---> Have You Ever Dated one of your best friends: yupp.. it doesn't work. trust me. they'll take advantage of you and hurt you every fucking time.
---> Have You Ever Broken the Law: yea.
---> Have You Ever Been Arrested: nope.
---> Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: nooo! but i came close that one time when me and sam got drunk and jumped in the pool lmao
---> Have You Ever Been on TV: i'm not sure.. i think i have when i was really little.
---> Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: noooope

¤5 Things you did today...
---> 1) listened to music
---> 2) went on msn
---> 3) talked to nikita
---> 4) talked to my sister
---> 5) drank a cup of coffee

¤4 Places You've Been Last, In Order...
---> 1) home
---> 2) the mall
---> 3) home
---> 4) school

¤3 People You Can Tell (Almost) Anything...
---> 1) ivana
---> 2) jessica
---> 3) nikita

¤2 Choices...
---> 1. Metal or emo?: metal, i guess
---> 2. Vanilla or chocolate?: vanilla.

¤1 Person You'd Do Anything For...
---> 1. i couldn't name just one; all of my friends <333*   (which definitely includes sam!!!! because we made up and everything is cool now!!! =o!)


[22 Feb 2006|07:06pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Thirteen Random Things You Like
01) my friends <3
02) music
03) drama
04) love
05) kisses
06) hugs/hugs from behind
07) talking on the phone with steve <3
08) being with steve <3
09) movies
10) having classes with my friends
11) dancing in the rain
12) laughing
13) smiling

Twelve Sick Ass Movies
01) american beauty
02) the notebook
03) the nightmare before christmas
04) ladder 49
05) mean girls
06) dirty dancing
07) quills
08) lilo & stitch
09) big daddy
10) cruel intentions
11) the breakfast club
12) ferris bueller's day off

Eleven Good Artists/Bands
01) bon jovi
02) aerosmith
03) pretty ricky
04) panic! at the disco
05) kanye west
06) immortal technique
07) 50 cent
08) black eyed peas
09) kid rock
10) lenny kravitz
11) ozzy osbourne

Ten People You Talked To Today
01) jessica
02) nikita
03) mike
04) rowan
05) gavin
06) steve <3*
07) sam
08) santina
09) sheryce
10) baylee

Nine Things You Would Never Do
01) not take a shower
02) intentionally hurt someone (especially someone i love)
03) laugh at someone in pain (unless it's nikita.. lmao jk hunnie <33*)
04) anything related to spiders
05) wear a swim suit in front of my friends again
06) not wear deoderant
07) get rid of my music
08) stop believing in steve <3
09) be racist

Eight Things In Your Room
01) bed
02) pillows
03) books
04) clothes
05) tv
06) stereo
07) cds
08) make-up

Seven Things That Annoy You
01) liars
02) cheaters
03) man whores
04) people who talk a lot of shit & have nothing to say
05) when people hurt my friends
06) overplayed songs on much/the radio
07) fake people

Six Things You Touch Daily
01) my clothes
02) a keyboard
03) door handles
04) water
05) the computer mouse
06) the phone

Five Favortie Candies
01) gum.. if that counts?
02) marshmallows (low calories!)
03) cinnamon hearts (low calories!)
04) tic tacs (if they count..also low calories!)

Four TV Shows You Watch
01) house
02) the apprentice
03) two & a half men
04) law & order: svu

Three Celebrities You Have A Crush On
01) will smith
02) nick cannon
03) jaime foxx    (gots to love the sexxiee black boiz !! <33)

Two Things You Can't Live Without
01) my friends/steve
02) my family

Name One Thing You Want More Than Anything
01) the world to stop hating.. it would be a much better place if people would stop wasting their time on insignificant little things. life is too short.


[16 Feb 2006|10:28pm]
[ mood | everything... ]

i hate that i have nothing to look forward to in the mornings anymore.
i hate that i won't be able to look into your eyes everyday.
i hate that you don't live in the same town as i do anymore.
i hate that you had to leave on fucking valentines day.
i hate that people never treat you the way you deserve to be treated. 
i hate how much it hurts right now.
i hate that i have to talk about it to everyone who asks, because it fucking kills me to say the words..
i hate that i'm probably just being overly dramatic.
i hate that i don't know when i'll see you again.
i hate that it's going to take soo much time to get used to.
i hate that i won't hear your voice everyday.

...but i'll always love you <3 *

i miss you soo much, and it's only been 2 days.
i can't stop listening to sappy love songs that remind me of you.
...the sad thing is, i don't want to stop.
this whole thing happened soo quickly, and i'm still not sure of what i think about the situation. all i know is that i love you, and want to be with you more than anything right now..
the look in your eyes when you told me almost killed me..
i'm sorry you had to see me break down like that in front of you.
you mean everything to me.
everytime i think about this whole thing i just start crying.
...kind of like right now =(
i want you here soo badly.
i'd do anything for you. 
the more i think of this, the more i realize i never ever want to lose you.. but i'm so scared i will.

i will always love you; no matter what happens. <3


[26 Jan 2006|01:48pm]
[ mood | my neck won't crack =( ]

okaiee.. so it's been forever since i updated this thing. here's what has happened in the last few weeks;

*steve and i broke up. but we got back together like 5 days later lol. yay =)
*ollie found out about the stuff we did that weekend, and he's pretty pissed off. but apparently is okay with mee? lol
*jess and i had hot lesbian sex lmao
*ivana and i had a long talk last night, and i love her to pieces <3*
*i saw bon jovi with merr!!!!! <3333* best night ever! *your love is like baaaad medicine* ahaha it was hott


alright.. so not too eventful lol. i'll actually update later when i want to..


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